Oh, I'm the bitch of the piece, am I?

Some brilliant person has enriched YouTube with a whole bunch of the classic Lynne and Carmel skits from the eighties and nineties,  by Magda Szubanski and Jane Turner  -  of Kath & Kim fame for those who weren't watching Australian television twenty years ago.  I always thought Magda's talents were terribly underused on Kath &  Kim.  The woman is an utter genius.



There's a few clips there too of another hilarious character of hers from that era,  Chenille,  on  "Janelle's Beauty Spot"  with Marg Downey.  Alas,  not nearly as much of Chenille as there is of Lynne,  but still classic stuff.

Oh, now that's a good one

From what looks like the laugh-out-loud story of the month comes what may be the euphemism of the year:

A statement released by the National Transportation Safety Board said: "The crew stated they were in a heated discussion over airline policy and lost situational awareness."

Remember,  next time you're totally out of it and have no idea where you are or what you are doing,  you've merely "lost situational awareness".  I can't wait to use that.

Update:  I currently have before me a text to translate in which the word "Situationsbewusstsein" appears, multiple times, including once in the title...  it's even in the right context (piloting aircraft).  Which was another laugh-out-loud moment (yes,  I'm easily amused).  There I was longing for an excuse to use this term, and this comes along.  It's almost enough to make you believe in divine intervention.  The word,  evidently a fairly common term in the industry,  is explained to mean "die Fähigkeit,  seine eigene Situation in Abhängigkeit des jeweiligen Umfeldes zutreffend beurteilen zu können"  -  "the ability to correctly assess one's own situation in relation to one's specific environment".  Hmm,  yes, that pretty much fits perfectly with the pilot story...

It's hip to be square

I think I know now what it is about Melbourne that makes me slightly uncomfortable here.  The place  -  or specifically its hip,  "alternative",  arty scene  -  is just a little too damn hip.  Not just content to be fashionable and cutting-edge,  they're all terribly conscious of just how cutting-edge they are;  they're far too focused on it the whole time.  The great thing about Berlin  (by comparison)  is that although it's got a flourishing,  cutting-edge cultural scene,  it manages at the same time to be largely relaxed and unpretentious  -  which I believe has a lot to do with the deep-seated provinciality of the place.  (Might also have something to do with the lack of money;  Melbourne certainly doesn't have that problem.)  Berlin manages to be extremely cool and deeply uncool at the same time,  and I love that.

Whereas I saw a young hipster dude in the gym today wearing a white T-shirt,  bright green trousers and a green baseball cap in exactly the same colour.  The hipsters here are the kind of people who colour-coordinate their gym outfits.  I'm sorry,  but that's just so Barcelona.

Which is why I'm outta here.  Heading back to Brisbane,  which still has enough of its old provincial,  uncool character for me to feel completely comfortable there,  just like Berlin  (or,  I might add,  Madrid).  Being in places like that is like curling up in a favourite old armchair,  or wearing a pair of ancient but unbelievably comfy old slippers.  Might not get you into the right clubs,  but hey,  you're not going to care.

Solstice

Last night I was reading a bit of the book I'm reading at the moment,  Cosmo Cosmolino by Helen Garner.  It's set in Melbourne.  Halfway through the scene I was reading,  one of the characters says to another,  "By the way – do you realise that this is the longest night of the year?"

And she was right.